The workplace is typically where you spend most of your day—it’s where you collaborate, brainstorm, and meet deadlines. But what if the day-to-day grind suddenly takes a darker turn and a zombie apocalypse breaks out while you’re at work? Suddenly, the office isn’t just a place for spreadsheets and meetings—it’s a potential battleground for survival.
While we hope this scenario never becomes a reality, preparing for a zombie outbreak at work is a fun and practical way to ensure you’re ready for any emergency. In this blog post, we’ll discuss strategies to keep yourself safe and secure when the apocalypse (or just a zombie attack) comes knocking at the office door.
1. Know Your Escape Routes: Plan Your Exit Strategy
The first step in surviving any crisis—zombie-related or otherwise—is to know your escape routes. If an outbreak occurs and zombies start infiltrating your office, getting out safely is critical.
What to Do:
- Identify Exits: Familiarize yourself with all the emergency exits in your building. Look for fire escapes, emergency stairwells, and secondary doors that can provide a quick escape without getting stuck in hallways or bottlenecks.
- Map Out Multiple Routes: If one exit is blocked or overrun, you need an alternative. Having a plan A, B, and C can ensure that you aren’t trapped when the undead come knocking.
- Keep Calm During Panic: In any emergency, it’s easy to panic. Practice staying calm and moving quickly. Make sure all colleagues know the exit routes and designate a meeting point once you’re safely out of the building.
2. Barricade and Fortify Your Space: Make Your Office Zombie-Proof
If evacuation isn’t an option, turning your workspace into a makeshift safe zone is your next best bet. Some offices might have internal rooms, such as supply closets, conference rooms, or storage areas, that can be used for temporary shelter while you wait for rescue—or better yet, escape.
What to Do:
- Barricade Doors and Windows: Look for furniture and supplies you can use to reinforce doors and windows. Desks, chairs, filing cabinets, or even large stacks of paper can serve as barriers to keep zombies out.
- Seal Gaps: If there are any gaps or weaknesses in the doors or windows, use tape, plastic sheets, or even clothing to seal them off. Every little bit of protection helps!
- Create Blind Spots: If your office has large windows, it may be wise to cover them with blinds or sheets so zombies can’t see inside. This also prevents panic among your coworkers.
3. Arm Yourself (with Office Supplies): Improvised Weapons for Defense
While your office probably isn’t equipped with weapons, it does offer a surprising number of tools you can use to defend yourself against a zombie attack. Get creative, and use everyday office supplies to your advantage.
What to Do:
- Sharpened Objects: A pencil, pen, or even a letter opener can serve as a makeshift stabbing weapon. If you can find a sturdy pair of scissors, that might also help.
- Blunt Force Objects: A stapler, computer keyboard, or a heavy coffee mug can be used as blunt force objects to knock zombies down or incapacitate them.
- Chains or Ropes: If your office has a janitorial closet, there’s likely a stash of rope, extension cords, or chains that can be used for tying up zombies or barricading doors.
4. Establish a Team and Communicate: Group Survival Strategy
The office can be a chaotic place when everyone is in survival mode. Establishing a team strategy and clear communication will increase everyone’s chances of staying safe and organized.
What to Do:
- Form Alliances: Stick with a group of trusted colleagues. In a crisis, the power of teamwork cannot be overstated. Assign roles based on individual strengths—someone can scout for supplies, another can reinforce barricades, and someone can be the designated “leader” to keep morale high.
- Establish Communication: Without a phone line or internet connection, you’ll need a backup method of communication. Two-way radios, walkie-talkies, or even signaling with lights or sounds (like knocking on walls or using an air horn) can keep the team in sync.
- Create a Buddy System: Pair up with coworkers to ensure that no one gets left behind. The buddy system works wonders in dangerous situations, so make sure everyone has someone to watch their back.
5. Be Resourceful: Stockpile Essentials
If you’re stuck in the office during a zombie outbreak, having the right supplies is crucial for your survival. In addition to food, water, and first aid supplies, you’ll need tools to help you stay alive for the long haul.
What to Do:
- Food and Water: Make sure you have enough snacks and water to last you through the day. Canned goods, granola bars, or non-perishable foods are good options. Keep a stockpile of water bottles, and if you can, try to find large water jugs in the office.
- First Aid Supplies: Your office should have basic first aid kits, but you might want to supplement it with additional items like pain relievers, bandages, and disinfectant. Injuries can happen during a zombie attack, and you want to be prepared.
- Flashlights and Batteries: Power outages are a given in any disaster scenario. Make sure you have flashlights and plenty of batteries so you can move around the office safely after dark. You can also use candles, but avoid open flames if there’s a chance of fire.
6. Stay Quiet and Stay Low: Avoid Drawing Attention
Zombies are attracted to sound and movement, so if you want to stay undetected, you’ll need to minimize noise and visibility.
What to Do:
- Keep the Noise Down: Avoid loud talking, clanging objects, or running around. If you’re in a barricaded area, keep any conversations or activities to a whisper. Zombies are attracted to noise, so the quieter you are, the better.
- Keep Your Movement Minimal: If you need to move, do so slowly and deliberately. Avoid standing near windows or doors where zombies could spot you.
- Turn Off Electronics: Computers, printers, or phones buzzing can draw unwanted attention. Turn off all electronics and anything that might make noise, including radios or alarms.
7. Prepare for a Long Stay: Comfort and Mental Health
Surviving a zombie apocalypse isn’t just about physical safety—it’s also about maintaining your mental and emotional health. If you’re holed up in the office for an extended period, stress and fear can take their toll on your ability to think clearly.
What to Do:
- Maintain a Routine: Establish a daily schedule. Rotate through shifts for lookout duty, food prep, and rest. A routine can keep your mind engaged and give a sense of normalcy.
- Stay Active: Being cooped up in an office building for hours or days can be mentally taxing. Stay active by stretching, walking around (quietly), or playing simple games to keep your mind sharp.
- Stay Positive: Keeping spirits high is crucial. Encourage your coworkers, share stories, and keep the hope of survival alive. Keeping calm and positive will help everyone make better decisions in the long run.
8. Monitor the Situation: Stay Informed
If you’re not already aware, the outside world could be falling apart quickly. You need to know what’s going on to plan your next steps. Look for ways to stay informed and updated, even if the power goes out.
What to Do:
- Battery-Powered Radio: A battery-powered or hand-crank radio can be an essential tool for receiving updates on the state of the zombie outbreak. Listen for news, emergency broadcasts, or survival tips from the authorities.
- Use Social Media (When Possible): If the internet is still working, monitor social media platforms and emergency services websites for updates. It’s also a good idea to keep an eye out for any messages or instructions from local emergency responders.
Conclusion: Don’t Panic—Prepare and Stay Safe
While the idea of zombies invading the workplace might sound absurd, the best way to survive any emergency is preparation. By knowing your exits, reinforcing your space, staying quiet, and working together with your coworkers, you can increase your chances of surviving the zombie apocalypse—or any other disaster.
Being ready for the worst case scenario not only prepares you for zombies, but for any emergency situation that might arise at the office. So, get to work on your zombie survival plan today, and stay safe—just in case the apocalypse comes knocking during your next meeting!